Today I celebrate the one year anniversary since I started on my Cancer Journey. Last year, I was sitting in the doctor's office mentioning that my left breast felt "funny". And the next thing I know I was hearing those dreaded words, "You Have Cancer". What, I am 34 years old, I can't have cancer!!!
I still have more than I want to write about my cancer experiences (especially the surgeries, therapy, and radiation), but I needed to give myself a little chance to step back from it all and just absorb what has happened in this past year.
There is nothing you can do to prepare yourself to hearing the diagnosis that you have cancer. At times it seemed everything was moving too quickly, and others that the doctors or results were not quick enough. You go through the "why me" stage, and the "what did I do wrong to cause this" questioning.
The year has put me through so much, but it has also affected those around me as well. It some ways it has brought Mr. Breeze and me much closer together, and in others we seem further apart. Physically after going through chemo, surgeries, and now radiation, I could not stand to be touched, so we lost some of the intimacy of our relationship. We learned to talk through things, and found that something a simple a little peck (kiss) on the lips or the top of the head has meant so much more during this time.
It was a struggle to manage day to day activities, and I was devastated when I couldn't hold my son for almost 3 months. But I saw how children adapt, and he and I found other ways to bond.
The side-effects have caused me to slow down, and really look at what is important to me. It was during this time that I started reading blogs, and learned of others who have struggled through cancer.
There was a beautiful young girl named Talia (she was even on the Ellen show) who at 13 and struggling with cancer, had a much more positive outlook on life than I did, and she showed me through her blog how to draw my eyebrows in when I lost mine. Unfortunately she lost her battle during 2013, and it was a crushing blow for so many. I felt like I needed to take advantage of the time I have here on Earth and use it better.
That is when I started reading financial blogs like Mr. Money Mustache and Pretired.org, I wanted to retire and stay home, but I was in Debt [who can think about retirement or quitting early when you are in bankruptcy]. These blogs made me realize it was possible, and I could do it in a short period of time.
No matter what happens, I am living my life to its fullest. I am making sure money is put away for Baby Breeze and Mr. Breeze should something happen to me. It is wonderful that I had the opportunity that I did to slow down and realize I was just running the rat race, and not even enjoying it anymore. More stuff, more money, more spending, for what???
Now I look forward to the time I spend with my son, and I maximize how much we are saving so that I can continue to spend more and more time with him as the years go by.
Yes, I am a Cancer survivor and I am going to LIVE my life each and every day.
