Seriously, I didn't spend thousands of dollars. However, I did spend a lot of time and heartache.
After struggling for a number of years with inconclusive infertility results, Mr. Breeze and I decided to look at other opportunities to become parents. Our families have adoptions on both sides, and we were not opposed to this idea but weren't really sure how to go about it.
We decided to look into Foster Parenting as we knew we had a great home and could provide a safe and stable environment for these children. Unfortunately we had just filed for Bankruptcy, and the first county we tried to enroll with would not work with us because of the Chapter 13. Even though we both had decent incomes by this point and could cover our expenses even after the Ch. 13 payments were made. Mr. Breeze knew how devastated I was, and started making phone calls.
He found a non-county private foster care group that was willing to work with us. Unfortunately after one night of training neither of us felt comfortable that we were making the right decision. We found that the private foster care groups usually end up taking the children that the counties could not place with their families, we were being pressured into taking teenagers or extreme behavioral or medical needy children; something we were not ready for.
So we took some time to re-think our strategy. We tried one more smaller county outside of our area, but still within reasonable driving distance to us. They agreed to work with us after they pre-reviewed our financial situation. So we started down the process of becoming licensed foster parents.
In August 2011, we received our Foster Parent license, with the ability to Foster-to-Adopt should the child in our care become available for adoption. However the county were were licensed through was small, so we waited and waited. The waiting was awful to a planner like me. We received a call to take in three boys, but we were not quite ready for that.
In December 2011, a week before Christmas we took in a sibling set (4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy). They were of a different race than we were, but after a few hours in our home we quickly saw past that. We loved having them in our home and it made the holidays lively that year. These two only stayed with us for 4 months, and their mother quickly was able to get her life back on track so they went home. We were crushed, but are thrilled they are doing so well (we occasionally get to see them or get an update).
From March till July we grieved the loss of the first two children who touched our hearts. In July we received a call for a 3 month old infant. We jumped at the opportunity and so another special child came into our lives, we cuddled and bonded with this little guy. We had great hopes that he would stay with us forever; however after a paternity test, he went to live with his paternal grandmother. She is a special woman with a big heart, so we are happy for him but again we grieved.
Then on November 12, 2012 our little guy was born. We received the call on November 13 and I went to the hospital to meet Baby Breeze. We knew from the very beginning that this was a unique foster placement, as he was going to be eligible for adoption. Due to the laws in our state we fostered our little guy for six months, and we were able to file for adoption. Our only cost were the court and lawyer fees for the adoption: $933. I have a wonderful employer who will reimburse up to $4,000 for adoption expenses, so I was even reimbursed for the $933.
The county even picked up all his medical expenses until the adoption was finalized, so we know how lucky we are. Out of pocket cost: $0
If you are considering adoption, think about fostering. These kids need love, and safe homes. Don't get me wrong, it is heartbreaking if they get to go home, and maybe we had an unusual experience, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love all of the children that came through our door, and I am grateful everyday to have the opportunity to watch Baby Breeze thrive and grow. I just wanted to share our experience with others who are thinking about Fostering or Adoption. You don't always have to spend thousands of dollars, sometimes a special child is just around the corner.
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